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SinlessSHadow
I am an artist, in many ways. From drawing, voice acting, pixel art, and writing... or typing, I am someone who tries a bit of everything... I think. Anyways, I am open to try anything else.
I also like gaming, n' stuff.

Other

In a distant land

Joined on 10/6/18

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I know venting exists for a reason, but I like seeing my issues swirl around like I’m observing a swarm of spirits gyre around in my head, waiting for a chance to be released into the world. The longer I hold it in, the worse it gets. The worse it gets, the more issues build up, multiplying the initial effect until I can't even speak anymore. Instead, I wander around, looking for something to kick, something to throw... but the only things I can find belong to someone else. So I settle for attempting to break myself instead, throwing myself against walls, and sometimes even punching them so hard my knuckles start bleeding, hoping I could feel something.. Yet despite my hopes, all I get is a lack of pain, or a really dull, unsatisfying sensation. The reason I still refuse to go any further than that is that I cling onto the distant vision of a future, without ever accepting the fact that that's all it is: a vision, a dream which I created to give myself the false hope that everything will be just fine. A mere sight, no physical manifestation whatsoever. So why do I continue to grasp onto the idea of me living a happy life? The idea of me making others happy? I feel like there’s so much I could do and if I end it all here… I might miss something. Maybe I’ll miss the chance to start a family of my own, have a loving wife and children which will carry on the family name for generations. That’s the reason I want to love; Why I scurry to find someone-- anyone-- who can and will feel a certain way towards me. Someone who will stay by my side. Why worry though when I have five siblings? They can surely carry out the one thing I even find purpose in life for. Maybe they’ll get in a very successful relationship, which I’d be happy for, and have the perfect little family while I sit there, contemplating putting my very existence to a halt-- living beside the dumpster behind McDonald’s. But at that point, there's question of if I’d ever be able to get my hands on a gun. Maybe I’d have to find a different means of ending things. Something more painful and less quick. After all, I’d want me to suffer.


Latest Shared Creations

something

Added to drawings for The Drawing Grounds Apr 26, 2020.

World1

Added to worlds for Pixel Box Worlds Apr 25, 2020.

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