I know venting exists for a reason, but I like seeing my issues swirl around like I’m observing a swarm of spirits gyre around in my head, waiting for a chance to be released into the world. The longer I hold it in, the worse it gets. The worse it gets, the more issues build up, multiplying the initial effect until I can't even speak anymore. Instead, I wander around, looking for something to kick, something to throw... but the only things I can find belong to someone else. So I settle for attempting to break myself instead, throwing myself against walls, and sometimes even punching them so hard my knuckles start bleeding, hoping I could feel something.. Yet despite my hopes, all I get is a lack of pain, or a really dull, unsatisfying sensation. The reason I still refuse to go any further than that is that I cling onto the distant vision of a future, without ever accepting the fact that that's all it is: a vision, a dream which I created to give myself the false hope that everything will be just fine. A mere sight, no physical manifestation whatsoever. So why do I continue to grasp onto the idea of me living a happy life? The idea of me making others happy? I feel like there’s so much I could do and if I end it all here… I might miss something. Maybe I’ll miss the chance to start a family of my own, have a loving wife and children which will carry on the family name for generations. That’s the reason I want to love; Why I scurry to find someone-- anyone-- who can and will feel a certain way towards me. Someone who will stay by my side. Why worry though when I have five siblings? They can surely carry out the one thing I even find purpose in life for. Maybe they’ll get in a very successful relationship, which I’d be happy for, and have the perfect little family while I sit there, contemplating putting my very existence to a halt-- living beside the dumpster behind McDonald’s. But at that point, there's question of if I’d ever be able to get my hands on a gun. Maybe I’d have to find a different means of ending things. Something more painful and less quick. After all, I’d want me to suffer.

I just realized that I'm too lazy at the moment, and might stay that way for a while... I suck Sorry..

Art isn't working out for me right now, so I was thinking about stepping into the world of music... I might do some things with vocals, but not yet. However, if you want to do the singing for a few songs, it doesn't matter how it sounds. I'll send you the background, and you can come up with lyrics, and how they sound. Please tell me first, though. Hmm... On second thought, never mind...

Okay, I will do some new art, but the requests might have to wait a little... I just keep going from one drawing, to another, and don't finish it... sorry...

Sorry, I wasn't able to do any of the requests, and the ones I did do, I'm not going to upload them... yet. I did continue to write a story I started a while ago, and even I cringe reading it, but please have a look.

https://www.wattpad.com/story/186243658-kowareta-sekai-the-shadows-of-kage-kssok

Any requests? Like, do you want me to do any pixel art? Traditional? Something else? Please tell me, because I am bored as FREAK... I mean... I am bored af... ugh... so... bor-... Wait, what was I saying?

Edit: Me doing any of these requests might depend on what mood I am in, if I can do it, and if I want to do it... and ctually, this is more just me giving myself an opportunity to get better at what I do... I sure know that I can't lead... I don't care what anyone says...

We are currently working on a project... That's it... just-... That is what I wanted to say.

A little more about the project, is that it is a game. If you have an idea of a game, please tell us... though, since we aren't very experienced, and also kinda need to work on working together, please suggest something simple. Then later on, we might be able to make more difficult stuff.

Hello, I am trying to make a group, but I don't have that many members, currently have fourteen members, but we need more if w want to get things done better. If you want to help us make things, and become a group that makes videos, music, games, and more, message me and tell me: What you can do for the group, if you have discord... (You don't have to have discord, though), and any questions.

Hello, more pointless news.

hiiiiii... pointless news